A friend of mine, Stacey, sent me this link today...
I watched, and was amazed that one mom could narrow down in one lil 2/3 minute timespan all the things we say to the kids everyday... again, things we say everyday.
I'm talking about the things like, get up, make your bed, brush your teeth, hurry, you're going to miss your bus, eat your breakfast, do your homework, do your chores, wash your face, change your clothes, go to bed, quiet down, etc etc etc.. we could almost record it word for word, every day.
Yes, almost like being Bill Murray waking up everyday on groundhog's day and the same thing happens day after day. That's parenthood for ya. It only ends when the kids move out and we retire. Then comes Grandparenthood. At least we can give those sets of kids back.
Anyhoo, for your amusement and entertainment, please click on the link! Enjoy! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY
I really enjoyed that video and have now pimped it out to every parent I know!
TY Stace!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Aha.... "Why don't you write a book?"
Well, I just may. Yep, in fact, I think I will. I am going to write about parenting my "Tribe" and what is has been for me and the kids and all our amazing adventures together!
After all, there are questions to be answered, I know this because I get them every day. not only by curious - or just plain rude - adults, but by my innocent children (ha ha ha.. a-hem, excuse me.) as well. Things like, "Do worms yawn?" and "Momma what happens if...."
- Now, see, ANY question that begins with those 4 words "Momma, what happens if..." is never a good thing. It is probably a direct comment on something they are about to do. Something they have thought of, but not the consequences, or the action and reaction of. (That whole E=MC2 isn't something they've figured out yet... or have they?) It could involve many things, living or not so living... possibly, it involves a multitude of things, something living, something dangerous and something messy. I'd opt this is exactly what that question is about. I'd also say your chances are 50/50 that they have already tried it and are waiting to see your reaction before they fess up to it. Yes, get the cleaning products, some garbage bags and a shovel. this might be big.
- Now, see, ANY question that begins with those 4 words "Momma, what happens if..." is never a good thing. It is probably a direct comment on something they are about to do. Something they have thought of, but not the consequences, or the action and reaction of. (That whole E=MC2 isn't something they've figured out yet... or have they?) It could involve many things, living or not so living... possibly, it involves a multitude of things, something living, something dangerous and something messy. I'd opt this is exactly what that question is about. I'd also say your chances are 50/50 that they have already tried it and are waiting to see your reaction before they fess up to it. Yes, get the cleaning products, some garbage bags and a shovel. this might be big.
Now, for the idiotic adults, my personal favorite in the questions is this: "Don't you know what causes that?" - Yes, I do and they say you should stick to what you're good at. OK?
I think those same select few adults, think they are funny. Yup, a real hoot! I bet they even think they are original. I shall send them each a copy of my book, no, just the chapter covering all the stupid questions I've been asked, so they can read what us Moms of Many have been dying to say but can't or wont because we've been biting our tongues now in the hopes that us having some manners and respect would rub off on all the idiots that choose to open their mouths and show how stupid they are. Fair, don't ya think?
So, Yes, I am writing a book on my big brood. Thanks to everyone who has suggested it and to those morons I just want to be able to shut up, for once and for all, and tell them how proud I am. How I love my family. How I don't give a poop if they don't like it or approve. How I don't need their permission. How I don't stick my hand out for their charity, welfare or food stamps and that I DO know who their Dad's are and I certainly did want them ALL.
*Whew* That felt good!
And to those with genuine good hearted curiosity, thank you, so much, we certainly appreciate folks like you! I hope you enjoy the book!
Monday, September 3, 2007
The "poop" follies
I know every mother in the world can write a whole chapter on poop. I mean, we face it every day during a diaper change or a toddler playing with "play-do" as I like to call it, or a child that has an accident and things of this nature.
How about when something is sooo hilariously funny - about poop or something poopy?
Here's why I ask...
A week or so ago, we had the wonderful fortune of testing out our emergency fire preparedness. Why? You ask? Well... We have a stove. A stove that is probably from 1940. It is about 40 something inches wide with two ovens side by side, one smaller and one bigger. You know what kind I'm talking about, the one even grandma traded in years back. Well, said stove works, so that is no issue, it functions as an oven should and the stove burns dinner just fine.
What the snafu was, was that one of the burners decided to go ka-put. (It's an electric stove)
It didn't just go "quietly into the night" no, this burner somehow burned out, then shorted out and then caused sparks and an arc of electricity to cut through a 1/4 inch iron pot that I was boiling water in. For those of you not familiar, water and electricity really should not be in the same company. Well, since there was a hole, and there was water in the pot, this created electrical fire, sparks and flames. This feels like one of the songs the kids used to sing... "corn in the pot, pot with a hole, hole leaked water, water in the stove and the whole thing caught fire, fire, fire!" kinda songs...
Well, I think everyone headed in a different direction... which is alot of directions and just pure chaos when about 7 of us are in the kitchen. The dog is barking wildly, Dad juggling the pot holder as he swatted flames up the wall - (pot, not fire holder) He yells at one of the kids to head to the basement to turn off breakers, Dad is at the helm of the stove, Mom is yelling and shoving kids off to the outside family room until finally, we are left in the dark with a scorched wall, a water logged stove and the lovely smell of burned corn and I *think* plaster and metal.
Well, crisis managed. We called the landlord and he promised to come over the next morning.
Sadly, no-one got to eat burned-pot corn.
We did find 3 fire extinguishers in the basement door after we started clean up. Huh!, wonder how long those have been there?
The next morning - we finally get to the poop follies - The landlord is due to arrive, Gracie is in cute little pink panties as she has started to potty train. Now, she has been doing great, to her credit, but - as we've come to realize - she is a little slow on the "poop in the potty" idea.
The kids and I are playing on the floor with Thomas the train, Shodi is playing with us and says "smells like poop, who pooped?" Well, Gracie ever so proud squeels "I did, I did" with such a pretty smile. We lift her lil dress and see nothing out of the ordinary...
"Gracie, turn around" She does and there is the offending culprit. A big baseball size lump in the backside of her panties. I am shuffling around to find a spot to set Gabe down so he can play a moment without Mommy, kids are laughing hysterically and Gracie gets the idea "I should take these panties off - now" So she slides the panties down, kicks them into the air, with offending poop ball, and panties go flying - but poop ball does not. No. It lands with a thud on my carpet in front of Gracie and Shodi. The panties made it free and landed in the dining room. Think I'll pass on lunch.
And Here's the landlord!
So, we are scrambling, almost tackling the poopball, with wipes so we can pick this thing up and dispose of it, pulling Gracie's skirt down from around her head, and I am trying to look somewhat composed before the landlord thinks I am comepletely insane. He, however, did rent to a woman with 11 kids at home, so I'm sure he thinks sanity is not a permanent resident. I mean, there's no room, right?
Well, we escaped poop questionability from the landlord. narrowly.
This was almost as bad as the time I had "poop shrapnel" - perhaps another time I will write on this in another chapter of our poop follies.
How about when something is sooo hilariously funny - about poop or something poopy?
Here's why I ask...
A week or so ago, we had the wonderful fortune of testing out our emergency fire preparedness. Why? You ask? Well... We have a stove. A stove that is probably from 1940. It is about 40 something inches wide with two ovens side by side, one smaller and one bigger. You know what kind I'm talking about, the one even grandma traded in years back. Well, said stove works, so that is no issue, it functions as an oven should and the stove burns dinner just fine.
What the snafu was, was that one of the burners decided to go ka-put. (It's an electric stove)
It didn't just go "quietly into the night" no, this burner somehow burned out, then shorted out and then caused sparks and an arc of electricity to cut through a 1/4 inch iron pot that I was boiling water in. For those of you not familiar, water and electricity really should not be in the same company. Well, since there was a hole, and there was water in the pot, this created electrical fire, sparks and flames. This feels like one of the songs the kids used to sing... "corn in the pot, pot with a hole, hole leaked water, water in the stove and the whole thing caught fire, fire, fire!" kinda songs...
Well, I think everyone headed in a different direction... which is alot of directions and just pure chaos when about 7 of us are in the kitchen. The dog is barking wildly, Dad juggling the pot holder as he swatted flames up the wall - (pot, not fire holder) He yells at one of the kids to head to the basement to turn off breakers, Dad is at the helm of the stove, Mom is yelling and shoving kids off to the outside family room until finally, we are left in the dark with a scorched wall, a water logged stove and the lovely smell of burned corn and I *think* plaster and metal.
Well, crisis managed. We called the landlord and he promised to come over the next morning.
Sadly, no-one got to eat burned-pot corn.
We did find 3 fire extinguishers in the basement door after we started clean up. Huh!, wonder how long those have been there?
The next morning - we finally get to the poop follies - The landlord is due to arrive, Gracie is in cute little pink panties as she has started to potty train. Now, she has been doing great, to her credit, but - as we've come to realize - she is a little slow on the "poop in the potty" idea.
The kids and I are playing on the floor with Thomas the train, Shodi is playing with us and says "smells like poop, who pooped?" Well, Gracie ever so proud squeels "I did, I did" with such a pretty smile. We lift her lil dress and see nothing out of the ordinary...
"Gracie, turn around" She does and there is the offending culprit. A big baseball size lump in the backside of her panties. I am shuffling around to find a spot to set Gabe down so he can play a moment without Mommy, kids are laughing hysterically and Gracie gets the idea "I should take these panties off - now" So she slides the panties down, kicks them into the air, with offending poop ball, and panties go flying - but poop ball does not. No. It lands with a thud on my carpet in front of Gracie and Shodi. The panties made it free and landed in the dining room. Think I'll pass on lunch.
And Here's the landlord!
So, we are scrambling, almost tackling the poopball, with wipes so we can pick this thing up and dispose of it, pulling Gracie's skirt down from around her head, and I am trying to look somewhat composed before the landlord thinks I am comepletely insane. He, however, did rent to a woman with 11 kids at home, so I'm sure he thinks sanity is not a permanent resident. I mean, there's no room, right?
Well, we escaped poop questionability from the landlord. narrowly.
This was almost as bad as the time I had "poop shrapnel" - perhaps another time I will write on this in another chapter of our poop follies.
Playing catch-up
Oh my goodness it has been a while since I've updated!! Wow!
Well, by now, Gabe is studying for his law degree, yes, we are the proud parents of a college man at Harvard. He is preceeded by 3 siblings having graduated from Harvard as well, 2 from Notre Dame and his oldest brother still lives at home in the same room and laying on the same bed with the same sheets.. from 1994. Ok, so not really, well, about the college - the sheets are questionable - but yes, I do look to the future and wonder how all my kids will grow up, what they will be, will any of them visit their mother, will one of them *ahem, Will* ever leave their mother, etc. etc.
I just want them to be able to grow up - and if I've done anything right (I'll have to keep you posted on this) Maybe they will be good people. "It's nice to be important, but more inportant to be nice" I read this once, somewhere here in cyberspace, and thought, ya know, I like that. Think I'll steal it. Well, kudos to the author, I think more people need to focus on the "be nice" rule of thumb.
Anyhoo, let me give everyone a run down of the house...
Gabryel, the baby, is now 18 pounds and about 28 inches long at his most recent check-up from Aug. and he turns 6 months old in a few days! Yes, half a year old!! I cannot even think about how fast the time has flown! And do you know how many poopy diapers one can change in 6 months? I don't think there's an actual diaper count on record that I know of, but I can imagine that landfills get their share of stank! - And I, who have been a faithful contributor over the years, am really shocked at how something so sweet and adorable and lovely, can eliminate such aweful, rank and nasty things from their cute lil onsied butts! Let's try solids!
Gracie - My Miracle, 23 week micropreemie, turned 3 in August!!! Yes, my itty-bitty little teeny one pound baby, has turned into this babbly, playful little girl who likes to dress up. *even if it is backwards, inside out, 3 sizes too big/small and not quite on her body as it was meant to be - visualize legs in an armhole or crotch parts on head* She is so sweet, so smart and so fun, I can't believe she is going to preschool this year. - This leaves Gabe and I all alone... what am I going to do with myself??? Gracie and Talon will be in the same preschool, nice to see everyone has a partner in their schools.
The "Tweens" They are in middle school this year (3 of them)... now life gets fun. I have had the most wonderful barrage of questions, answers and comments from this bunch. They are all girls *insert glazed look of insanity here* while dad is building a bomb shelter/period hideout hut/boyfriend burial ground in the basement, I've had fun chats about periods, boys, make-up, shaving legs, hormones, internet chatting and have had to question my role as a parent for not calling a professional referee to start fielding the fights over clothing. - watch out, next it's boys.
Did I mention dad was also installing security and is building an aresenal? Yes, it's stocked well with all kinds of nifty things he's collected during his 8 years as a Marine. Don't mind the twinkies, he's collected those in the couple of years since the Marines, he's also acquired a spare tire to show his affection for those twinkies.
The Ele. crowd. (2 of these)
Well, these 2 are doing good, they have a bus stop about 1 block down, they already made friends and are still into things of the "grossing out" nature. Lucky me. I will elaborate more on this as time affords it, but now I will leave you with the thought that Kids will do anything and everything to not only "gross out" their brothers and sisters, but parents, strangers, people you really wouldn't want to see your face again and other family as well.
"yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirates life for me!"
Why is all the rum gone?
Well, by now, Gabe is studying for his law degree, yes, we are the proud parents of a college man at Harvard. He is preceeded by 3 siblings having graduated from Harvard as well, 2 from Notre Dame and his oldest brother still lives at home in the same room and laying on the same bed with the same sheets.. from 1994. Ok, so not really, well, about the college - the sheets are questionable - but yes, I do look to the future and wonder how all my kids will grow up, what they will be, will any of them visit their mother, will one of them *ahem, Will* ever leave their mother, etc. etc.
I just want them to be able to grow up - and if I've done anything right (I'll have to keep you posted on this) Maybe they will be good people. "It's nice to be important, but more inportant to be nice" I read this once, somewhere here in cyberspace, and thought, ya know, I like that. Think I'll steal it. Well, kudos to the author, I think more people need to focus on the "be nice" rule of thumb.
Anyhoo, let me give everyone a run down of the house...
Gabryel, the baby, is now 18 pounds and about 28 inches long at his most recent check-up from Aug. and he turns 6 months old in a few days! Yes, half a year old!! I cannot even think about how fast the time has flown! And do you know how many poopy diapers one can change in 6 months? I don't think there's an actual diaper count on record that I know of, but I can imagine that landfills get their share of stank! - And I, who have been a faithful contributor over the years, am really shocked at how something so sweet and adorable and lovely, can eliminate such aweful, rank and nasty things from their cute lil onsied butts! Let's try solids!
Gracie - My Miracle, 23 week micropreemie, turned 3 in August!!! Yes, my itty-bitty little teeny one pound baby, has turned into this babbly, playful little girl who likes to dress up. *even if it is backwards, inside out, 3 sizes too big/small and not quite on her body as it was meant to be - visualize legs in an armhole or crotch parts on head* She is so sweet, so smart and so fun, I can't believe she is going to preschool this year. - This leaves Gabe and I all alone... what am I going to do with myself??? Gracie and Talon will be in the same preschool, nice to see everyone has a partner in their schools.
The "Tweens" They are in middle school this year (3 of them)... now life gets fun. I have had the most wonderful barrage of questions, answers and comments from this bunch. They are all girls *insert glazed look of insanity here* while dad is building a bomb shelter/period hideout hut/boyfriend burial ground in the basement, I've had fun chats about periods, boys, make-up, shaving legs, hormones, internet chatting and have had to question my role as a parent for not calling a professional referee to start fielding the fights over clothing. - watch out, next it's boys.
Did I mention dad was also installing security and is building an aresenal? Yes, it's stocked well with all kinds of nifty things he's collected during his 8 years as a Marine. Don't mind the twinkies, he's collected those in the couple of years since the Marines, he's also acquired a spare tire to show his affection for those twinkies.
The Ele. crowd. (2 of these)
Well, these 2 are doing good, they have a bus stop about 1 block down, they already made friends and are still into things of the "grossing out" nature. Lucky me. I will elaborate more on this as time affords it, but now I will leave you with the thought that Kids will do anything and everything to not only "gross out" their brothers and sisters, but parents, strangers, people you really wouldn't want to see your face again and other family as well.
"yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirates life for me!"
Why is all the rum gone?
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