It may have something to do with the fact that I bought Kevin's ticket home for Christmas exodus!! I've been saying for a while, all I want for Christmas, is Kevin. Well, now with a $650. dollar ticket and a date (finally) I will get what I, and the kids, wanted most! - And then some! ;)Don't get me wrong, this has been the hardest time without him and for a while, we didn't know if he would get to come home at all, then of course add in the Army's indecision's about when they would leave or from where, we could have paid half for the ticket way back when, but yes, very well worth the money! We've really struggled through this separation, financially and emotionally. It's been heartbreaking for both of us, but now that the wait is down to single digits, I finally see that silver lining!!
Yesterday, I finally got the "OOMPH" to start decorating, even bought a tree!! We were issued snow & winter weather warnings, advisories, you name it, but what better time to take advantage of being home than now, to decorate and get the house ready for the holidays! So, I slink out of bed, open my curtains and watch as a glass falls from my windowsill, bounce right off the radiator, break, then land on my feet. Needless to say, I am a bit hacked up. So, If I ever needed a reason to stay off my feet, I think I will cash in now. (so much for those cute heels I was planning on wearing!) Oh well, the kids and I drug out the decor and put together the tree, let little ones hang pretty red and gold balls of all sizes (red and gold is our color theme this year) on the tree with the direction of bigger kids. We hung stockings, we strung garland on stair-rails, dressed up the table in nice Christmas linens and pretty candles and holiday ware. We made the house merry and bright! We are ready for Kevin and Santa!
Now, because I have been the Grinch... all I have left to do... is all the Christmas shopping!! Add to that, when Kevin comes home, we will be squeezing a small wedding in at our Church, our big ultrasound appointment and several family Holiday parties, it will make for a busy but wonderful holiday!! Besides Kevin and I being together, we finally get to say "I-Do" - and do we ever!!
So, with all the happenings here at home, if we should get a little busy and not update very soon, We wish you all a very Merry Holiday and Many Bright and Beautiful Blessings for a Happy New Year!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
It hasn't even been a week...
I feel devastated, like my life has shifted into this dark oblivion. I never imagined being away from Kevin would be this hard. I thought it would be like years ago with the Marines, get up and go, do your thing, come back home, all is well. *sigh* No, it's been anything but!
Must be pregnancy hormones causing this super sappy emotional thing I have going on, or is it I just love him that much? Well, that's what I am betting on. I do.I love him that much, I would walk to the end of the earth to defend or just embrace him, gaining only a moment with him to make my heart stop aching, for just one moment.... one still, silent moment.
The worst time is the evening, everything is quiet, kids are safely tucked, kissed and hugged away in bed. This is the time usually reserved for just him and I. We cuddle in bed, watch a movie, sneak down for a nibble on something like kids sneaking around the house in search of something "not allowed", taking that slice of pie or scoop of ice cream to share, we can talk for hours, we understand each other so well, we can relate to each other's way of thinking, we can feel everything from each other, I've never had anyone understand me so well. He says I read his mind and I read him so well, I try to be everything to him, I want the world for him. I know he wants that for us, or he wouldn't be out there.... playing Army-man, for us.
I am trying to keep busy, I have cleaned the house so often the kids think I am obsessed. I think I am too cranky, I am insane if things are out of place or get messy. I guess it's me trying to find order in my life right now when things are so out of order. I actually found the energy to drag up the boxes of Christmas decorations. I did a pretty Christmas scene in my window with all my cute fiber optics. I hung the stockings on the mantle, I put the nice Holiday tablecloth on the table and dressed it with candles and a mini tree.
But, there is only so much Christmas I can stand with him being gone, I broke down in the store while looking at pre-lit trees.... This is something Kevin and I do together, we literally did everything together, feeding off each others ideas and making something wonderful out of just a notion. But he's not here. People shopping gayly through the store, giggles and laughter echo as I, alone, look at things to trim our home, I can't do it. I leave, crying. I am sure people stop to look at the nut who has left crying, but if they only knew.... What would they say anyway? I don't think they would have a response, it's like putting a big white elephant out in the middle of the living room. People try to avoid it, they don't want to comment, they just hope it goes away before things get messy.
Life is messy.
I am just "on hold" until he comes home again, busying myself with the kids and the home and trying to maintain some level of sanity and grace. I get up every morning and put my big girl panties on and "deal".
I live for those few text messages and that free time when he can use the cell phone so I can hear his voice. He feels aweful, I usually cry, I can't help it. I am crying now as I type this, I miss him so much. I never thought I could feel this saddened, this hurt, this broken.
Yes, I know, "Snap out of it!" - I'm trying, I assure you, I really am. It's just really hard.Anyhoo, now that I've got you all caught up in this 'lil novel I have going.... I have goals....
I will get out of the house, at least once a week, to shop or something, by myself.
I will call and visit family a lil more, I know I don't go out much or do anything, but it being the Holidays, I will try to do more so time passes a lil better and quicker.
I will reach out and accept support and encouragement and find supportive people.
I will try my very best, to not let this consume me.
*Thanks to everyone that has posted their comments and words of support and encouragement, they mean the world to me, I so appreciate that you all are thinking of us, this truley is, one of the most difficult things to have to do. And I am greatful for all you who are sharing this time with me.*
So, with that said, I am going to try and get a little more Holiday spirit around here.....
I hope everyone is having a blessed holiday season, no matter what or how you celebrate, let it be with people you love and care for and let it be with all the love and joy of the season.
Must be pregnancy hormones causing this super sappy emotional thing I have going on, or is it I just love him that much? Well, that's what I am betting on. I do.I love him that much, I would walk to the end of the earth to defend or just embrace him, gaining only a moment with him to make my heart stop aching, for just one moment.... one still, silent moment.
The worst time is the evening, everything is quiet, kids are safely tucked, kissed and hugged away in bed. This is the time usually reserved for just him and I. We cuddle in bed, watch a movie, sneak down for a nibble on something like kids sneaking around the house in search of something "not allowed", taking that slice of pie or scoop of ice cream to share, we can talk for hours, we understand each other so well, we can relate to each other's way of thinking, we can feel everything from each other, I've never had anyone understand me so well. He says I read his mind and I read him so well, I try to be everything to him, I want the world for him. I know he wants that for us, or he wouldn't be out there.... playing Army-man, for us.
I am trying to keep busy, I have cleaned the house so often the kids think I am obsessed. I think I am too cranky, I am insane if things are out of place or get messy. I guess it's me trying to find order in my life right now when things are so out of order. I actually found the energy to drag up the boxes of Christmas decorations. I did a pretty Christmas scene in my window with all my cute fiber optics. I hung the stockings on the mantle, I put the nice Holiday tablecloth on the table and dressed it with candles and a mini tree.
But, there is only so much Christmas I can stand with him being gone, I broke down in the store while looking at pre-lit trees.... This is something Kevin and I do together, we literally did everything together, feeding off each others ideas and making something wonderful out of just a notion. But he's not here. People shopping gayly through the store, giggles and laughter echo as I, alone, look at things to trim our home, I can't do it. I leave, crying. I am sure people stop to look at the nut who has left crying, but if they only knew.... What would they say anyway? I don't think they would have a response, it's like putting a big white elephant out in the middle of the living room. People try to avoid it, they don't want to comment, they just hope it goes away before things get messy.
Life is messy.
I am just "on hold" until he comes home again, busying myself with the kids and the home and trying to maintain some level of sanity and grace. I get up every morning and put my big girl panties on and "deal".
I live for those few text messages and that free time when he can use the cell phone so I can hear his voice. He feels aweful, I usually cry, I can't help it. I am crying now as I type this, I miss him so much. I never thought I could feel this saddened, this hurt, this broken.
Yes, I know, "Snap out of it!" - I'm trying, I assure you, I really am. It's just really hard.Anyhoo, now that I've got you all caught up in this 'lil novel I have going.... I have goals....
I will get out of the house, at least once a week, to shop or something, by myself.
I will call and visit family a lil more, I know I don't go out much or do anything, but it being the Holidays, I will try to do more so time passes a lil better and quicker.
I will reach out and accept support and encouragement and find supportive people.
I will try my very best, to not let this consume me.
*Thanks to everyone that has posted their comments and words of support and encouragement, they mean the world to me, I so appreciate that you all are thinking of us, this truley is, one of the most difficult things to have to do. And I am greatful for all you who are sharing this time with me.*
So, with that said, I am going to try and get a little more Holiday spirit around here.....
I hope everyone is having a blessed holiday season, no matter what or how you celebrate, let it be with people you love and care for and let it be with all the love and joy of the season.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The Approved "Safe" toy list for Christmas 2007
Is this what has become of our toy industry? in light of all the recalls, I started thinking what, exactly, were my choices for this years Christmas shopping....
Wooden toys - as long as there are no screws, nails, pull strings, wheels that pop off or other wooden parts glued to it.-Hell, just buy your kids a nice, non treated, 2 x 4, sand it nice and smooth, round the edges and WATERCOLOR paint it some pretty colors and then wrap it in non-plastic, non-toxic, wrapping paper and throw it under your flame retardant, fake, pre-lit Christmas tree with the saftey approved, auto shut off lights.
Plastic toys - an empty milk jug will have your kids playing for hours!! - remove the label, I'm sure it has ink that will make your kids sprout another head.
Paper - stuff their stockings with some nice coloring books, be mindful that the ink is non hazardous and that the crayons and or colored pencils are non-toxic and hypoallergenic. We wouldn't want Little Johnny to break out in hives when being stabbed with it from his evil sister.
Boxes - go to your local retailer and get some of the boxes that all those lead painted toys came in and wrap em up and let the kids go to town with them, why spend 40 dollars on a toy when you know they play with the wrapping paper and box it came in alot longer than the toy itself! Besides, have you ever tried getting a toy OUT of those boxes? They are stapled, glued and twist-tied to hell and cannot be removed. My Daughter is playing with a Barbie from 3 years ago with half a box attached to her back. We call her Box-bie.
Bicycle - The most favorite of toys! Just strip off any paint as it may be hazardous while you take 3 days to assemble it, put on training wheels, load up your kid with a helmet, boots, knee pads, elbow pads, gloves, mouth guard, shin guards, neck brace, rear-view mirror, air-horn, padded seat, jock-strap for the boys, speed governor, hand and foot brakes and let'er rip! I can just see my little tykes now, they will be the talk of the town with their new spectacular wheels!
Food - Yes, this is a great idea! as long as you get the hormone free, antibiotic-free, pestiside-free, preservative-free, sugar-free....
Forget it, stick to the 2 x 4 with water colors.
I have to say, looks like a trip to Lowes for a few non-treated 2 x 4's and Michael's for some water-colors is in order.
Latest Recalls: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerelnov07.html
Wooden toys - as long as there are no screws, nails, pull strings, wheels that pop off or other wooden parts glued to it.-Hell, just buy your kids a nice, non treated, 2 x 4, sand it nice and smooth, round the edges and WATERCOLOR paint it some pretty colors and then wrap it in non-plastic, non-toxic, wrapping paper and throw it under your flame retardant, fake, pre-lit Christmas tree with the saftey approved, auto shut off lights.
Plastic toys - an empty milk jug will have your kids playing for hours!! - remove the label, I'm sure it has ink that will make your kids sprout another head.
Paper - stuff their stockings with some nice coloring books, be mindful that the ink is non hazardous and that the crayons and or colored pencils are non-toxic and hypoallergenic. We wouldn't want Little Johnny to break out in hives when being stabbed with it from his evil sister.
Boxes - go to your local retailer and get some of the boxes that all those lead painted toys came in and wrap em up and let the kids go to town with them, why spend 40 dollars on a toy when you know they play with the wrapping paper and box it came in alot longer than the toy itself! Besides, have you ever tried getting a toy OUT of those boxes? They are stapled, glued and twist-tied to hell and cannot be removed. My Daughter is playing with a Barbie from 3 years ago with half a box attached to her back. We call her Box-bie.
Bicycle - The most favorite of toys! Just strip off any paint as it may be hazardous while you take 3 days to assemble it, put on training wheels, load up your kid with a helmet, boots, knee pads, elbow pads, gloves, mouth guard, shin guards, neck brace, rear-view mirror, air-horn, padded seat, jock-strap for the boys, speed governor, hand and foot brakes and let'er rip! I can just see my little tykes now, they will be the talk of the town with their new spectacular wheels!
Food - Yes, this is a great idea! as long as you get the hormone free, antibiotic-free, pestiside-free, preservative-free, sugar-free....
Forget it, stick to the 2 x 4 with water colors.
I have to say, looks like a trip to Lowes for a few non-treated 2 x 4's and Michael's for some water-colors is in order.
Latest Recalls: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerelnov07.html
Sunday, October 28, 2007
19 Excited, Screaming Girls & 4 confused boys.
19 Excited, screaming girls....and 4 confused boys.
That's what I had at my house on Friday night! No, it wasn't a summer clearance sale, a riot or even a fire.
It was a pre-teen Halloween Party for My Children! My 3 Middle-Schoolers had their friends over to Paarrrtaaay! Much to our surprise, they invited alot of kids... that wasn't the surprise, it was that they all, and then some, showed up!
My poor 1st grader had invited one little boy he goes to school with, who came and went quickly as he wasn't feeling good. This left Him and His Brother, who is only a year younger, as the only 2 self propeled males in this estrogen feuled crowd of make-up, giggles and screams! My 18 year old quickly locked himself away from this crowd. I cannot say I blame him, about mid-swing, I was wishing I had an escape route! Once the little ones all ate and had some cupcakes, I shuttled them upstairs with a movie and some treats to enjoy for their mini version of a halloween party.
Gabryel, however, was quite the ladies man. He went from one set of arms to another, flashing big toothless smiles and squeels almost as loud as these girls emit. - Unless they hear their "favorite song" to which we have discovered that their "favorite song" is not one song. It is, apparently, the phraze a teen says to any song that has a beat and is well liked by other teens that they will all attempt to dance - or was that a spasm? - to. I haven't moved liked that since that time I was struck by lightning. Those were my thoughts. (No, I"m not kidding, I was struck by lightning - it still seems alot less painless than getting through a pre-teen party)
No, I don't remember being that age either. I think, I was always a Mom. Wait, It's because I was always a Mom! I have been "Mom" since I was 17. that was 19 years ago. I have now been a Mom, longer than I have been anything else. I have been a Mom, longer than I have been "Me".
I wish I could collect a pension for being Mom, I almost have my 20 in! What does a Mom do after 20+ years of being Mom, knowing she is about to become Mom again and for at least another 18 years, she will have a "baby" at home? I will probably never have to find out. I am sure, somewhere along the way, I will again transform into a higher being... called a "Grandmother". Then, in this more matriarchal role, I will be doing all the "Mom" things, with more rank. Ha, and Kevin thought he'd pick up "Officer" before me. Well, he still might. Doesn't look like I will be gaining that "Grand" title anytime soon.
I do like the fact that with the title of "Grandma" you almost have a "Do anything you want" pass. I can feed that set of little ones messy foods, I can crack them out on sugar, I can buy them toys that make noises that will make the dog howl. I can give them glue, permanent markers, popsicles and gum. And I can get away with it all. I won't even have to clean up the mess it will produce!! Better yet, I can have these little children at my house and load them up with sugar, presents and crap.... and send them home! Being the Grandma is good. Now, I can't wait.
Being a Grandma, is payback. I have now figured out the meaning of life. If I keel over tomorrow, you all know what it is! ;)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Our first night away from each other...
courtesy of the U.S.Army.
Kevin left me late this afternoon to Harrisburg, he is being put up in a very nice hotel so he can be at MEPS in the morning at 4am.
This is where he will be doing his physical, haggling over his MOS (He wants Finance and Accounting) and etc before he officially signs his name on the dotted line and his life becomes the U.S. Army's and no longer his own.
*sigh*
This is the first step... besides the one where he contacted the recruiter and began the journey, I guess you could say this is where the journey becomes "official".
After he does this visit to MEPS, he will wait about 10 days or so and he will go back to MEPS. He will then sign the official contract and then leave immediately to AIT school. - That will be about 8 weeks long.
Since we have the Holidays coming up, Kevin will get to come home for Christmas and then go back and finish before coming home on leave. Then we go to his first duty station.
That will be a hectic time. We will have to get the movers and all else to move us to his duty station. The car and Momzilla shipped, etc.
At least Kevin will be home with us again. For how long, who knows? But, we will appreciate and cherish every day we get together. Hopefully, he will be there when the new baby makes his way into the world. Hopefully, We make it to May before that happens!
I am glad we went to the Borough Days here the last weekend in Sept. It was a local street festival and Kevin and I took the little ones just to putz around and get out of the house. We happened to stop at an ATM where a photographer was taking pictures for people. $23.00 later, we signed up and took a nice fall picture.
So, he will at least get to take this with him when he leaves for AIT.
I will miss him so much. I miss him now, but I know this is only one night. I don't know how "well" I will be when I know he will be leaving for 8 weeks.
I guess we will see then.
Many prayers and tears will my pillow see during that time.
God Bless My Soldier and My Family.
Kevin left me late this afternoon to Harrisburg, he is being put up in a very nice hotel so he can be at MEPS in the morning at 4am.
This is where he will be doing his physical, haggling over his MOS (He wants Finance and Accounting) and etc before he officially signs his name on the dotted line and his life becomes the U.S. Army's and no longer his own.
*sigh*
This is the first step... besides the one where he contacted the recruiter and began the journey, I guess you could say this is where the journey becomes "official".
After he does this visit to MEPS, he will wait about 10 days or so and he will go back to MEPS. He will then sign the official contract and then leave immediately to AIT school. - That will be about 8 weeks long.
Since we have the Holidays coming up, Kevin will get to come home for Christmas and then go back and finish before coming home on leave. Then we go to his first duty station.
That will be a hectic time. We will have to get the movers and all else to move us to his duty station. The car and Momzilla shipped, etc.
At least Kevin will be home with us again. For how long, who knows? But, we will appreciate and cherish every day we get together. Hopefully, he will be there when the new baby makes his way into the world. Hopefully, We make it to May before that happens!
I am glad we went to the Borough Days here the last weekend in Sept. It was a local street festival and Kevin and I took the little ones just to putz around and get out of the house. We happened to stop at an ATM where a photographer was taking pictures for people. $23.00 later, we signed up and took a nice fall picture.
So, he will at least get to take this with him when he leaves for AIT.
I will miss him so much. I miss him now, but I know this is only one night. I don't know how "well" I will be when I know he will be leaving for 8 weeks.
I guess we will see then.
Many prayers and tears will my pillow see during that time.
God Bless My Soldier and My Family.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
"Everything was normal, except....
your HCG level, it was 972. You're pregnant."
She says this, now, almost like she's asking me! LOL
This is what the nurse said to me on the phone on 9/20. Quite stagnant and flat, mind you. In that, "Well, your pregnant again" kind of way.... I'm sure you know what I mean, I could almost hear her eyes rolling through the phone. And sadly, I got a little kick out of it. Maybe I should play along...
-"Oh No! I'm pregnant!!! Oh My God! I can't believe it!" - long pause... then I say,
-"Can I ask you a question?"
The nurse bringing herself back from a blank, wide eyed stare and probably thinking, "oh no, what do I say?"...
-"Um, sure??"
-"Why is it that you say it like that... you know, "Oh, all your tests were fine but your pregnancy test", Being pregnant is not a disease, not a horrible illness or even some awful virus I have just come down with. It's a baby. Something totally welcomed, yes, sometimes a surprise, but something loved and in my case, exciting! So why is it you say it like that?"
She umms and uhh's and then composes her half baked answer;
-"Oh, it's not meant like anything really, just that the normal result for a pregnancy hcg would be negative I suppose, so when you get a positive result, I would guess it's not normal?"
She says this, now, almost like she's asking me! LOL
-"Oh, ok, well, thank you, and we are very happy!"
So I hang up, I'll bet she remembers this phone call, and I'm sure somewhere in my medical record is a lil note from the nurse on what a witch I am. Good, maybe they will understand my point of view on pregnancy and the next time they have to run an HCG, I will get a nice phone call with an actual "Congratulations!" from the nurse on the line instead of someone giving me the news like I've just acquired anthrax.
So here I am, a diseased woman carrying... a baby!
YAY!!!!! Congratulations to us!
Yes, a surprise, but loved and wanted nonetheless. We should be due around May 23rd, 2008
My first OB appt is on Oct. 15th with the wonderful high-risk Dr's in Hershey.
I will keep everyone posted and post pics as we go along!
My very first, non belly, pic for this pregnancy! lol
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
On the other family news front, Kevin will be leaving in about 3 weeks, he will be starting our new Army life off at AIT for about 8 weeks. We will get him home for Christmas as school will be closed for the holidays, so we have him to look forward to even though we have to miss him for Thanksgiving.
I can honestly say I know what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving...
I am Thankful for Kevin and My Family. They are all making sacrifices, big and small, to have our family grow, succeed and move towards a good future. Kevin's sacrifice for us makes me grateful to him every day. The kids pulling together for us all to move to begin our new Life, is another blessing I am thankful for.
Thank God, for family, eh?
So, this morning, we celebrated the news that Kevin leaves us soon with a huge breakfast, it was an all out spread! We had 3 kinds of pancakes - chocolate chip, blueberry and buttermilk, a tray of sausage, a tray of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast, on the side, whipped cream and fresh strawberries. We said a prayer and gave God so much thanks, for everything. Then we chowed down!!
Friday, September 28, 2007
What Moms say everyday...
A friend of mine, Stacey, sent me this link today...
I watched, and was amazed that one mom could narrow down in one lil 2/3 minute timespan all the things we say to the kids everyday... again, things we say everyday.
I'm talking about the things like, get up, make your bed, brush your teeth, hurry, you're going to miss your bus, eat your breakfast, do your homework, do your chores, wash your face, change your clothes, go to bed, quiet down, etc etc etc.. we could almost record it word for word, every day.
Yes, almost like being Bill Murray waking up everyday on groundhog's day and the same thing happens day after day. That's parenthood for ya. It only ends when the kids move out and we retire. Then comes Grandparenthood. At least we can give those sets of kids back.
Anyhoo, for your amusement and entertainment, please click on the link! Enjoy! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY
I really enjoyed that video and have now pimped it out to every parent I know!
TY Stace!
I watched, and was amazed that one mom could narrow down in one lil 2/3 minute timespan all the things we say to the kids everyday... again, things we say everyday.
I'm talking about the things like, get up, make your bed, brush your teeth, hurry, you're going to miss your bus, eat your breakfast, do your homework, do your chores, wash your face, change your clothes, go to bed, quiet down, etc etc etc.. we could almost record it word for word, every day.
Yes, almost like being Bill Murray waking up everyday on groundhog's day and the same thing happens day after day. That's parenthood for ya. It only ends when the kids move out and we retire. Then comes Grandparenthood. At least we can give those sets of kids back.
Anyhoo, for your amusement and entertainment, please click on the link! Enjoy! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_oc1j5NakY
I really enjoyed that video and have now pimped it out to every parent I know!
TY Stace!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Aha.... "Why don't you write a book?"
Well, I just may. Yep, in fact, I think I will. I am going to write about parenting my "Tribe" and what is has been for me and the kids and all our amazing adventures together!
After all, there are questions to be answered, I know this because I get them every day. not only by curious - or just plain rude - adults, but by my innocent children (ha ha ha.. a-hem, excuse me.) as well. Things like, "Do worms yawn?" and "Momma what happens if...."
- Now, see, ANY question that begins with those 4 words "Momma, what happens if..." is never a good thing. It is probably a direct comment on something they are about to do. Something they have thought of, but not the consequences, or the action and reaction of. (That whole E=MC2 isn't something they've figured out yet... or have they?) It could involve many things, living or not so living... possibly, it involves a multitude of things, something living, something dangerous and something messy. I'd opt this is exactly what that question is about. I'd also say your chances are 50/50 that they have already tried it and are waiting to see your reaction before they fess up to it. Yes, get the cleaning products, some garbage bags and a shovel. this might be big.
- Now, see, ANY question that begins with those 4 words "Momma, what happens if..." is never a good thing. It is probably a direct comment on something they are about to do. Something they have thought of, but not the consequences, or the action and reaction of. (That whole E=MC2 isn't something they've figured out yet... or have they?) It could involve many things, living or not so living... possibly, it involves a multitude of things, something living, something dangerous and something messy. I'd opt this is exactly what that question is about. I'd also say your chances are 50/50 that they have already tried it and are waiting to see your reaction before they fess up to it. Yes, get the cleaning products, some garbage bags and a shovel. this might be big.
Now, for the idiotic adults, my personal favorite in the questions is this: "Don't you know what causes that?" - Yes, I do and they say you should stick to what you're good at. OK?
I think those same select few adults, think they are funny. Yup, a real hoot! I bet they even think they are original. I shall send them each a copy of my book, no, just the chapter covering all the stupid questions I've been asked, so they can read what us Moms of Many have been dying to say but can't or wont because we've been biting our tongues now in the hopes that us having some manners and respect would rub off on all the idiots that choose to open their mouths and show how stupid they are. Fair, don't ya think?
So, Yes, I am writing a book on my big brood. Thanks to everyone who has suggested it and to those morons I just want to be able to shut up, for once and for all, and tell them how proud I am. How I love my family. How I don't give a poop if they don't like it or approve. How I don't need their permission. How I don't stick my hand out for their charity, welfare or food stamps and that I DO know who their Dad's are and I certainly did want them ALL.
*Whew* That felt good!
And to those with genuine good hearted curiosity, thank you, so much, we certainly appreciate folks like you! I hope you enjoy the book!
Monday, September 3, 2007
The "poop" follies
I know every mother in the world can write a whole chapter on poop. I mean, we face it every day during a diaper change or a toddler playing with "play-do" as I like to call it, or a child that has an accident and things of this nature.
How about when something is sooo hilariously funny - about poop or something poopy?
Here's why I ask...
A week or so ago, we had the wonderful fortune of testing out our emergency fire preparedness. Why? You ask? Well... We have a stove. A stove that is probably from 1940. It is about 40 something inches wide with two ovens side by side, one smaller and one bigger. You know what kind I'm talking about, the one even grandma traded in years back. Well, said stove works, so that is no issue, it functions as an oven should and the stove burns dinner just fine.
What the snafu was, was that one of the burners decided to go ka-put. (It's an electric stove)
It didn't just go "quietly into the night" no, this burner somehow burned out, then shorted out and then caused sparks and an arc of electricity to cut through a 1/4 inch iron pot that I was boiling water in. For those of you not familiar, water and electricity really should not be in the same company. Well, since there was a hole, and there was water in the pot, this created electrical fire, sparks and flames. This feels like one of the songs the kids used to sing... "corn in the pot, pot with a hole, hole leaked water, water in the stove and the whole thing caught fire, fire, fire!" kinda songs...
Well, I think everyone headed in a different direction... which is alot of directions and just pure chaos when about 7 of us are in the kitchen. The dog is barking wildly, Dad juggling the pot holder as he swatted flames up the wall - (pot, not fire holder) He yells at one of the kids to head to the basement to turn off breakers, Dad is at the helm of the stove, Mom is yelling and shoving kids off to the outside family room until finally, we are left in the dark with a scorched wall, a water logged stove and the lovely smell of burned corn and I *think* plaster and metal.
Well, crisis managed. We called the landlord and he promised to come over the next morning.
Sadly, no-one got to eat burned-pot corn.
We did find 3 fire extinguishers in the basement door after we started clean up. Huh!, wonder how long those have been there?
The next morning - we finally get to the poop follies - The landlord is due to arrive, Gracie is in cute little pink panties as she has started to potty train. Now, she has been doing great, to her credit, but - as we've come to realize - she is a little slow on the "poop in the potty" idea.
The kids and I are playing on the floor with Thomas the train, Shodi is playing with us and says "smells like poop, who pooped?" Well, Gracie ever so proud squeels "I did, I did" with such a pretty smile. We lift her lil dress and see nothing out of the ordinary...
"Gracie, turn around" She does and there is the offending culprit. A big baseball size lump in the backside of her panties. I am shuffling around to find a spot to set Gabe down so he can play a moment without Mommy, kids are laughing hysterically and Gracie gets the idea "I should take these panties off - now" So she slides the panties down, kicks them into the air, with offending poop ball, and panties go flying - but poop ball does not. No. It lands with a thud on my carpet in front of Gracie and Shodi. The panties made it free and landed in the dining room. Think I'll pass on lunch.
And Here's the landlord!
So, we are scrambling, almost tackling the poopball, with wipes so we can pick this thing up and dispose of it, pulling Gracie's skirt down from around her head, and I am trying to look somewhat composed before the landlord thinks I am comepletely insane. He, however, did rent to a woman with 11 kids at home, so I'm sure he thinks sanity is not a permanent resident. I mean, there's no room, right?
Well, we escaped poop questionability from the landlord. narrowly.
This was almost as bad as the time I had "poop shrapnel" - perhaps another time I will write on this in another chapter of our poop follies.
How about when something is sooo hilariously funny - about poop or something poopy?
Here's why I ask...
A week or so ago, we had the wonderful fortune of testing out our emergency fire preparedness. Why? You ask? Well... We have a stove. A stove that is probably from 1940. It is about 40 something inches wide with two ovens side by side, one smaller and one bigger. You know what kind I'm talking about, the one even grandma traded in years back. Well, said stove works, so that is no issue, it functions as an oven should and the stove burns dinner just fine.
What the snafu was, was that one of the burners decided to go ka-put. (It's an electric stove)
It didn't just go "quietly into the night" no, this burner somehow burned out, then shorted out and then caused sparks and an arc of electricity to cut through a 1/4 inch iron pot that I was boiling water in. For those of you not familiar, water and electricity really should not be in the same company. Well, since there was a hole, and there was water in the pot, this created electrical fire, sparks and flames. This feels like one of the songs the kids used to sing... "corn in the pot, pot with a hole, hole leaked water, water in the stove and the whole thing caught fire, fire, fire!" kinda songs...
Well, I think everyone headed in a different direction... which is alot of directions and just pure chaos when about 7 of us are in the kitchen. The dog is barking wildly, Dad juggling the pot holder as he swatted flames up the wall - (pot, not fire holder) He yells at one of the kids to head to the basement to turn off breakers, Dad is at the helm of the stove, Mom is yelling and shoving kids off to the outside family room until finally, we are left in the dark with a scorched wall, a water logged stove and the lovely smell of burned corn and I *think* plaster and metal.
Well, crisis managed. We called the landlord and he promised to come over the next morning.
Sadly, no-one got to eat burned-pot corn.
We did find 3 fire extinguishers in the basement door after we started clean up. Huh!, wonder how long those have been there?
The next morning - we finally get to the poop follies - The landlord is due to arrive, Gracie is in cute little pink panties as she has started to potty train. Now, she has been doing great, to her credit, but - as we've come to realize - she is a little slow on the "poop in the potty" idea.
The kids and I are playing on the floor with Thomas the train, Shodi is playing with us and says "smells like poop, who pooped?" Well, Gracie ever so proud squeels "I did, I did" with such a pretty smile. We lift her lil dress and see nothing out of the ordinary...
"Gracie, turn around" She does and there is the offending culprit. A big baseball size lump in the backside of her panties. I am shuffling around to find a spot to set Gabe down so he can play a moment without Mommy, kids are laughing hysterically and Gracie gets the idea "I should take these panties off - now" So she slides the panties down, kicks them into the air, with offending poop ball, and panties go flying - but poop ball does not. No. It lands with a thud on my carpet in front of Gracie and Shodi. The panties made it free and landed in the dining room. Think I'll pass on lunch.
And Here's the landlord!
So, we are scrambling, almost tackling the poopball, with wipes so we can pick this thing up and dispose of it, pulling Gracie's skirt down from around her head, and I am trying to look somewhat composed before the landlord thinks I am comepletely insane. He, however, did rent to a woman with 11 kids at home, so I'm sure he thinks sanity is not a permanent resident. I mean, there's no room, right?
Well, we escaped poop questionability from the landlord. narrowly.
This was almost as bad as the time I had "poop shrapnel" - perhaps another time I will write on this in another chapter of our poop follies.
Playing catch-up
Oh my goodness it has been a while since I've updated!! Wow!
Well, by now, Gabe is studying for his law degree, yes, we are the proud parents of a college man at Harvard. He is preceeded by 3 siblings having graduated from Harvard as well, 2 from Notre Dame and his oldest brother still lives at home in the same room and laying on the same bed with the same sheets.. from 1994. Ok, so not really, well, about the college - the sheets are questionable - but yes, I do look to the future and wonder how all my kids will grow up, what they will be, will any of them visit their mother, will one of them *ahem, Will* ever leave their mother, etc. etc.
I just want them to be able to grow up - and if I've done anything right (I'll have to keep you posted on this) Maybe they will be good people. "It's nice to be important, but more inportant to be nice" I read this once, somewhere here in cyberspace, and thought, ya know, I like that. Think I'll steal it. Well, kudos to the author, I think more people need to focus on the "be nice" rule of thumb.
Anyhoo, let me give everyone a run down of the house...
Gabryel, the baby, is now 18 pounds and about 28 inches long at his most recent check-up from Aug. and he turns 6 months old in a few days! Yes, half a year old!! I cannot even think about how fast the time has flown! And do you know how many poopy diapers one can change in 6 months? I don't think there's an actual diaper count on record that I know of, but I can imagine that landfills get their share of stank! - And I, who have been a faithful contributor over the years, am really shocked at how something so sweet and adorable and lovely, can eliminate such aweful, rank and nasty things from their cute lil onsied butts! Let's try solids!
Gracie - My Miracle, 23 week micropreemie, turned 3 in August!!! Yes, my itty-bitty little teeny one pound baby, has turned into this babbly, playful little girl who likes to dress up. *even if it is backwards, inside out, 3 sizes too big/small and not quite on her body as it was meant to be - visualize legs in an armhole or crotch parts on head* She is so sweet, so smart and so fun, I can't believe she is going to preschool this year. - This leaves Gabe and I all alone... what am I going to do with myself??? Gracie and Talon will be in the same preschool, nice to see everyone has a partner in their schools.
The "Tweens" They are in middle school this year (3 of them)... now life gets fun. I have had the most wonderful barrage of questions, answers and comments from this bunch. They are all girls *insert glazed look of insanity here* while dad is building a bomb shelter/period hideout hut/boyfriend burial ground in the basement, I've had fun chats about periods, boys, make-up, shaving legs, hormones, internet chatting and have had to question my role as a parent for not calling a professional referee to start fielding the fights over clothing. - watch out, next it's boys.
Did I mention dad was also installing security and is building an aresenal? Yes, it's stocked well with all kinds of nifty things he's collected during his 8 years as a Marine. Don't mind the twinkies, he's collected those in the couple of years since the Marines, he's also acquired a spare tire to show his affection for those twinkies.
The Ele. crowd. (2 of these)
Well, these 2 are doing good, they have a bus stop about 1 block down, they already made friends and are still into things of the "grossing out" nature. Lucky me. I will elaborate more on this as time affords it, but now I will leave you with the thought that Kids will do anything and everything to not only "gross out" their brothers and sisters, but parents, strangers, people you really wouldn't want to see your face again and other family as well.
"yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirates life for me!"
Why is all the rum gone?
Well, by now, Gabe is studying for his law degree, yes, we are the proud parents of a college man at Harvard. He is preceeded by 3 siblings having graduated from Harvard as well, 2 from Notre Dame and his oldest brother still lives at home in the same room and laying on the same bed with the same sheets.. from 1994. Ok, so not really, well, about the college - the sheets are questionable - but yes, I do look to the future and wonder how all my kids will grow up, what they will be, will any of them visit their mother, will one of them *ahem, Will* ever leave their mother, etc. etc.
I just want them to be able to grow up - and if I've done anything right (I'll have to keep you posted on this) Maybe they will be good people. "It's nice to be important, but more inportant to be nice" I read this once, somewhere here in cyberspace, and thought, ya know, I like that. Think I'll steal it. Well, kudos to the author, I think more people need to focus on the "be nice" rule of thumb.
Anyhoo, let me give everyone a run down of the house...
Gabryel, the baby, is now 18 pounds and about 28 inches long at his most recent check-up from Aug. and he turns 6 months old in a few days! Yes, half a year old!! I cannot even think about how fast the time has flown! And do you know how many poopy diapers one can change in 6 months? I don't think there's an actual diaper count on record that I know of, but I can imagine that landfills get their share of stank! - And I, who have been a faithful contributor over the years, am really shocked at how something so sweet and adorable and lovely, can eliminate such aweful, rank and nasty things from their cute lil onsied butts! Let's try solids!
Gracie - My Miracle, 23 week micropreemie, turned 3 in August!!! Yes, my itty-bitty little teeny one pound baby, has turned into this babbly, playful little girl who likes to dress up. *even if it is backwards, inside out, 3 sizes too big/small and not quite on her body as it was meant to be - visualize legs in an armhole or crotch parts on head* She is so sweet, so smart and so fun, I can't believe she is going to preschool this year. - This leaves Gabe and I all alone... what am I going to do with myself??? Gracie and Talon will be in the same preschool, nice to see everyone has a partner in their schools.
The "Tweens" They are in middle school this year (3 of them)... now life gets fun. I have had the most wonderful barrage of questions, answers and comments from this bunch. They are all girls *insert glazed look of insanity here* while dad is building a bomb shelter/period hideout hut/boyfriend burial ground in the basement, I've had fun chats about periods, boys, make-up, shaving legs, hormones, internet chatting and have had to question my role as a parent for not calling a professional referee to start fielding the fights over clothing. - watch out, next it's boys.
Did I mention dad was also installing security and is building an aresenal? Yes, it's stocked well with all kinds of nifty things he's collected during his 8 years as a Marine. Don't mind the twinkies, he's collected those in the couple of years since the Marines, he's also acquired a spare tire to show his affection for those twinkies.
The Ele. crowd. (2 of these)
Well, these 2 are doing good, they have a bus stop about 1 block down, they already made friends and are still into things of the "grossing out" nature. Lucky me. I will elaborate more on this as time affords it, but now I will leave you with the thought that Kids will do anything and everything to not only "gross out" their brothers and sisters, but parents, strangers, people you really wouldn't want to see your face again and other family as well.
"yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirates life for me!"
Why is all the rum gone?
Friday, April 20, 2007
Gabe Update 4/20/07
Gabe has his new bedding all set up now, but the crib looks like it has swallowed him whole! He is so tiny in there, I could fit at least 3 of him in it! LOLHe went for his Hip U/S yesterday, everything looks good, so no concern! YAY!
We don't see the doctor for another few weeks, then it's for the first round of shots... not looking forward to that at all. I'm gonna make Daddy go, I'm not good at them poking the babies, I cry as bad, if not worse, than they do!
He's been doing really good, likes baths - as long as it's nice n warm. Uncle Mikey got a new wipes warmer for his Nephew- he didn't like the cold on his tushie. He's up to about 4 to 6 ounces per feed - about every 4 hrs. or so. I think we have a night owl though, he's been getting up more, right around the 3:30am / 4am time frame and thinks we need to entertain him, which, at that time, I'm pretty much entertaining the idea of sleep... but hey, we'll get him back on schedule, lots more to do during the day, we'll have to play more and keep him alert and see if that turns things around!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Easter Pictures
Hope everyone had a bright and blessed Easter Holiday! Peace and Many Blessings to all!Sunday, April 8, 2007
Happy Easter!
Hoping everyone has a Bright and Blessed Easter!Will update with pictures of Gabe's first Easter and pics of the family!
Friday, April 6, 2007
Weight Check 4/6/07
I took Gabe in for his 2 week weight check today, his last appointment he was at 5 pounds, 4 ounces. Today he weighed in at 6 pounds, 9 ounces! So a great gain of 1 pound, 5 ounces in 2 weeks! So great news there! He goes back May 8th for his 2 month shots... oh yay.We caught Gabe this last week, smiling up a storm, must be those angels keeping his grinnin'! He really is such a doll, he sleeps through the night pretty good - about 6 to 7 hours at a stretch, we try to let him sleep, but end up waking him to eat because we get nervous! I don't want him missing out on a meal! I've also resorted to putting his crib against my side of the bed for reach-in ability... I'm nuts, always poking at him to make sure he's breathing ok, not cold, not wet, not stinky, yadda yadda... Gabe is probably thinking "Momma, leave me alone so I can get some sleep!" Poor lil peanut! Iam just so happy he is growing and gaining!
BTW: Remember... April is...................
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Gabe's first Dr. visit 3/23/07
Daddy took Gabe to his first weight check. He has gone up to 5 pounds, 4 ounces and 18 1/2 inches from his release on 3/20 of 4 pounds, 14 ounces and birth length of 17 1/4 inches! yay!We are all so happy he is growing and gaining, I have been worried since my BF attempts haven't been so successful and the pump is slowly decreasing as well. *sigh* At least he's doing good on the Enfacare 22 calorie formula! His next appt is on 4/6/07 - So we will keep y'all posted on how much he's grown and / or gained then!
Even Big Brother William is enjoying Gabe - now this is something I had to get a picture of, Will hasn't exactly ever been "baby friendly" like most guys, afraid he will "break" him or something! LOL
Gabe is Home!
3/20/07
Gabe came home today. We ran around the early part of the day putting together baby furniture and getting things set up. We got to the hospital and quickly changed him into his new outfit and strapped him in his new car seat and we left as soon as the papers were signed just in case they changed their minds! LOL
Everyone at home was so anxious, as soon as we got in the door, they crowded around the newest addition to the tribe and have been in love ever since!
So sorry I have been late on the updates, We've been "babymooning" and things have been hectice around here... more on that when I keep updating! ;)Saturday, March 17, 2007
Gabe Update 3/16/07
With the snow falling, we went to Hershey this morning, ready for our 10 am feeding, Mommy ready to put her little man to breast. The weather and driving was horrible!! We saw one accident on the way, 3 accidents, including one guy swerving then spinning out in front of us, on the way back.
Gabe was adorable in his little bassinet, we scooped him up, loving on him and waking him gently. Mommy got ready right away, he did great! He spent about 5 minutes total on each breath really doing a good job, then the hicci-puppies set in (hiccups) He was quite annoyed. The nurse gave him his full feed and vitamins after we were done, pulled back about 10 cc's - so I know Momma at least got 10 cc's down him! YAY! The snow was looking foul still about an hour later, so we decided to go before we were stuck. We drove home, it was a hair raising drive with the roads so bad, we had already had at least 4 inches to 6 inches down by this point.
We stopped only to fill the gas tank in case of an emergency and get some grocery items so we wouldn't have to leave the house. It's 2am and it's been snowing since we got home, The news is saying we've gotten around 16 inches total. yay fun.
The rotten part was no Gabe visit this evening because the roads were so bad.
I really hope tomorrow will be better and the roads get plowed so I can go and feed and be with him.
Tonight, Michelle, his nurse, weighed him in at 4 lbs, 14 ounces and he fed from a bottle with no problems, taking the entire feed. So, we have had wonderful progress!! WTG Gabe!
I forgot my camera, so no pictures today :( Hopefully we can go tomorrow so I can show off my "little big Boy" in his bassinet. I also left enough milk to feed him for 24 hrs. So, I am doing something with the pump besides getting aggrivated! YAY!
Gabe was adorable in his little bassinet, we scooped him up, loving on him and waking him gently. Mommy got ready right away, he did great! He spent about 5 minutes total on each breath really doing a good job, then the hicci-puppies set in (hiccups) He was quite annoyed. The nurse gave him his full feed and vitamins after we were done, pulled back about 10 cc's - so I know Momma at least got 10 cc's down him! YAY! The snow was looking foul still about an hour later, so we decided to go before we were stuck. We drove home, it was a hair raising drive with the roads so bad, we had already had at least 4 inches to 6 inches down by this point.
We stopped only to fill the gas tank in case of an emergency and get some grocery items so we wouldn't have to leave the house. It's 2am and it's been snowing since we got home, The news is saying we've gotten around 16 inches total. yay fun.
The rotten part was no Gabe visit this evening because the roads were so bad.
I really hope tomorrow will be better and the roads get plowed so I can go and feed and be with him.
Tonight, Michelle, his nurse, weighed him in at 4 lbs, 14 ounces and he fed from a bottle with no problems, taking the entire feed. So, we have had wonderful progress!! WTG Gabe!
I forgot my camera, so no pictures today :( Hopefully we can go tomorrow so I can show off my "little big Boy" in his bassinet. I also left enough milk to feed him for 24 hrs. So, I am doing something with the pump besides getting aggrivated! YAY!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Gabe update 3/15/07
Gabe is moving!Gabe is going to an open air crib today! He has been maintaining his temps so we are hopeful he will maintain his temps and get to stay in his crib.... one step closer to the door OUT! YAY!
Now, we need to get little man feeding good! I am still pumping away, but if it's not meant to be, I am not going to put myself through the stress and pressure, whether or not it's by breast or bottle, whatever he can do is good for me! His weight is still maintaining at 4 lbs, 11 ounces, nothing lost, nothing gained. So all in all, he is doing a great job!!
More later.... ;)
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Gabe's Update 3/13/07
Today was an awesome day!
I awoke to Kevin, rushing into the room, "Honey!! She (the nurse) said we could breastfeed!" I was groggy and looked up at him, "she did? when?", "at the 10am feeding!" - it was 9:30am!! I bet you never saw a lil old fat lady, holding her tummy together and moving so fast! LOL! We raced off and called the Hospital to let Nurse Jesse know we would probably be just a lil late but we were coming! She said she'd hold the feeding for us! We couldn't get there fast enough (for me anyway, who needs stop lights?)
Well, we got there, 10 minutes after 10am. Rushing as best we could as I'm hobbling along... We got up to NICU and they were doing a preemie study on him (I had agreed to participate in this research study for preemies, they collect DNA and record video of his daily routine, diaper change, clothing change, all the normal things you do to see how they respond to different stimuli, etc) So, we had to wait until they were done recording a video of him and doing the cheek swabs they needed. I was disappointed at first because when we got there she said they had to do an NG feeding on tape, so I was full and leaking, didn't pump in a while, waiting to see if we could feed. The Nurse Practitioner then said, no, we could go ahead and feed, she didn't need it on video because she got great data already! - more on that later - So we were a GO!
The nurse brought over the screen and I got ready ASAP! We put Gabryel to breast at 10:34am and he latched on immediately and had a great latch, sucking away, we could hear him sucking and really getting it!! Daddy got it on video. He nursed for 8 minutes before Jesse said we should give him a break and give him the rest of his feed by NG so as not to tire him out the first try. I could not have been happier, I just sat there hoding him after, crying like some blubbering idiot as I held him tightly to me. It was the most wonderful feeling!!! - So, She gave me another pump kit to keep there and I pumped the rest of the time to empty out. I left her an almost full 70 cc bottle for the next couple feeds when I was done. Daddy sat and "breastfed" him the rest of the milk with the NG tube while I went and pumped.
Later, the Nurse Practitioner doing the study came and told me what she had data on. She said Gabe was very much more developmentally able to deal with his surroundings than most of the preemies in the study as far as his temperament. He is very mellow and self sooths, he will curl up and snuggle his hands up to his chin or on his neck by his ears and will block out whats going on around him. He does not, however, like to be fiddled with, with cold touch - if the Nurses' hands are cold, he will bat his arms and kick his lil legs, he doesn't like cold touch. So, he's normal, I wouldn't like ice cold hands touching me either after I'm snuggly and warm! lol.Later in the day we called for an update. Gabe apparently, at some point, pulled his nasal cannula out from under his nose and was content he finally got it - we've watched him try and get it off him before, he didn't really like it. So, she went to do her daily routine things, change the diaper, etc. when she noticed he was not having any issues, so she turned it off and decided to give him a chance without it. He has been off of it since and the discontinued it for good. (well, at this point, don't want to get ahead of myself thinking it may not be needed again, as we all know that situations may change.)
Well, here it is, 4am, 3/15/07 and he has not needed it since this afternoon. He has no tubes, IV's or O2. He has the NG tube for feeds and the electrodes to monitor him.
We've come a long way, baby!
Now, we have to get him to do 3 more things....
- Maintain his own temp. So he can move out of the isolette and maintain his body temp.
- Learn how to suck swallow and breathe thru all feeds. (or most)
- Gain weight.
We certainly have come far in a pretty short amount of time, I want so desperately to hear the words "He can go home" But I am also waiting patiently for him, on his own timing so I know that when we all leave there, I take with me, a healthy baby boy!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
For Kevin......
And so we walk along, our path full of uncertainty, our minds focused upon the quest and our will strong...
Where shall we journey today?
Some say the East, for that is where the sun will rise upon us, casting it's brilliance and warmth. Where the new day will bring us promise and hope.
Some say the West, for that is where the sun will set, and where the evening will guide us to another day of hope and promise.
I say, we stay where we are, face East each morning for the sun to honor our new day, and face West each night, for the moon to guide us until dawn.
For right here...in your arms, strong and warm, is where I shall forever want to be.. feeling your need and touch upon my skin.... finding hope and promise with your soul....finding love within your heart... that I may face each sunrise knowing that is where I will wake...in your arms always...and each night, I will lay in them with desire, passion and eternal love.
So, this I say to you....go to where your heart leads...where happiness is present, where love reigns above all....every day will be new to learn, share and feel.
Where shall we journey today?
Some say the East, for that is where the sun will rise upon us, casting it's brilliance and warmth. Where the new day will bring us promise and hope.
Some say the West, for that is where the sun will set, and where the evening will guide us to another day of hope and promise.
I say, we stay where we are, face East each morning for the sun to honor our new day, and face West each night, for the moon to guide us until dawn.
For right here...in your arms, strong and warm, is where I shall forever want to be.. feeling your need and touch upon my skin.... finding hope and promise with your soul....finding love within your heart... that I may face each sunrise knowing that is where I will wake...in your arms always...and each night, I will lay in them with desire, passion and eternal love.
So, this I say to you....go to where your heart leads...where happiness is present, where love reigns above all....every day will be new to learn, share and feel.
My Love....I dedicate this to you...for in so many ways...my heart, soul and body, belong with you.
My Warrior, proud and strong, I shall love you all the days of my mortal life, and seek you when the Angels come for our immortal souls...
Monday, March 12, 2007
Gabe's Update 3/12/07
Well today was a good day for Daddy and Gabe! We went up to the hospital, I had to go into the E.R., I pulled a bunch of staples out and have been in the most tremendous pain. I had called My Dr's Office and they referred me to the E.R. because of everything else going on. (the open wound, bleeding and pain and my prothrombin disorder) So I got to visit the E.R. waiting room while Daddy got to visit Gabe. Daddy went up and He changed Gabe's diaper, he looked and it had a lil poopie stain on it and he thought, "oh how cute" so he pulls the diaper out from underneath him and Gabe pooped all over Daddy!! *HE HE HE HE HE!!!!*
Kevin had to change him, his outfit, his linens and everything! So, Daddy had his first poopie encounter!
Gabe is up to 40cc's every 3 hrs and tolerating well, Tomorrow I am going to attempt to BF him!! I cannot wait! I have been pumping and trying so hard to get that going and it's just not going as I had hoped, maybe him feeding directly will give me the stimulation I need to produce more. He is off O2 and They removed the IV line. So, we are making good progress! And I had to miss it all! :( Talk about hurt and disappointed! I cried on the way home, and not just from pain.
I will be up to the hospital in the morning to be with him and hopefully get an Appt. with the Women's Health Center since I never got seen in the E.R. - I sat there in pain, more than 3 hrs with a possible wait of 2 to 3 more!?!?! I was hurting so badly I was shaking and sick to my stomach. I finally left and told them I would call the Dr. in the morning because I couldn't hang in there anymore and I had kids coming home from school and it was a big mess! - I saw people in that E.R. waiting room, one guy bleeding all over and he said he had been in there for 3 hrs like that with a soaked towel full of blood, and still bleeding!! WT#?? My Mom said we should write a letter to the Hospital Board & local paper and say something, that is just aweful, they provide such good care, I can't believe their E.R. would be run so poorly!
So I just got home a bit ago and took pain meds and I am ready to be poured under the covers. I am in bed where I will stay until 8 am when I call the Dr. to get an appt and then I'm going to see my little boy!!
Kevin had to change him, his outfit, his linens and everything! So, Daddy had his first poopie encounter!
Gabe is up to 40cc's every 3 hrs and tolerating well, Tomorrow I am going to attempt to BF him!! I cannot wait! I have been pumping and trying so hard to get that going and it's just not going as I had hoped, maybe him feeding directly will give me the stimulation I need to produce more. He is off O2 and They removed the IV line. So, we are making good progress! And I had to miss it all! :( Talk about hurt and disappointed! I cried on the way home, and not just from pain.
I will be up to the hospital in the morning to be with him and hopefully get an Appt. with the Women's Health Center since I never got seen in the E.R. - I sat there in pain, more than 3 hrs with a possible wait of 2 to 3 more!?!?! I was hurting so badly I was shaking and sick to my stomach. I finally left and told them I would call the Dr. in the morning because I couldn't hang in there anymore and I had kids coming home from school and it was a big mess! - I saw people in that E.R. waiting room, one guy bleeding all over and he said he had been in there for 3 hrs like that with a soaked towel full of blood, and still bleeding!! WT#?? My Mom said we should write a letter to the Hospital Board & local paper and say something, that is just aweful, they provide such good care, I can't believe their E.R. would be run so poorly!
So I just got home a bit ago and took pain meds and I am ready to be poured under the covers. I am in bed where I will stay until 8 am when I call the Dr. to get an appt and then I'm going to see my little boy!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
3/11/07 Gabryel Update
3/11/07
Gabe is doing wonderfully today!
He is off IV fluids and will get his IV out of his head tomorrow! (man that looks aweful, can't imagine how it feels!) He is also off the phototherapy lights, they will do a biliruben level in the morning to make sure that is good. He is up to 35cc's per feed, and tomorrow, We can start to Breastfeed!!
I will have to pump first, to make sure i don't choke him up, but it will give me nipple stimulation for milk and also get him to start nippling and get to practice suck, swallow, breath coordination!
I cannot tell you how happy and excited I am for this!! My little man has come a long way in the almost week he's been born!! We took him clothes today, yes, size preemie! You can see his picture with one of his first outfits! He is looking like such a big boy now! He is soo tenny, such a little face! He really looks like his Daddy! I am so proud of him, growing and gaining!
His weigh is down to 4 lbs, 12 ounces, so he is peeing and pooping good, getting rid of more fuid that's kept him puffy! Pretty soon little face, pretty soon we will have you home! For now, gotta grow and gain to catch up with the rest of the bunch! ;)
The Updates 3/6/07 - 3/10/07
While in the hospital, I took notes on his progress, here is what I have together...
3/6 I didnt take any notes, Kevin was with him most of the time while I was trying to recover....
3/7 - (11:30am) Nurse Cindy
Gabe is put on CPAP, 30% O2
They were collecting his urine, he hasn't been voiding really well and has gotten a bit puffy. They were running labs and checking for kidney function and looking over his labs. Also tachypnic (breathing fast)
3/7 - (4pm) Nurse Linda
weight 5 lbs, 2 oz
Dr. ordered Lasix to help him pee and see if it would help with the puffiness and fluid retention.
Chest X ray was still showing some fuid althought it is a small concern. He is continuing on CPAP for the tachyphia.
3/7 - (8:30pm) Nurse Linda
Given the Lasix, Gabe peed alot, flooded his little specimin bag and the linens! Also, he had his 1st stool!
CPAP at 33%, He's been quiet and calm.
3/8 - (12:15am) Nurse Kara
weight: 5 lbs, 3 oz - CPAP 30%
his labs and electrolites are getting checked again, so far so good, The last 3 diapers were good n wet! He has good response from th dose of lasix.
3/8 (7:00am) Nurse Kara
weight 4 lbs, 14oz CPAP at room air
Labs were just taken and he is wetting diapers and had another good stool!
He is breathing ok with periods of tachypnia
3/8 - I went home late this afternoon from Hospital. My afternoon and evening calls were pretty much the same, no changes, all is doing fine!
3/9 - He's wetting diapers and going poop all good! He got TPN by IV today to help with some low calcium levels. Later on, they took him off CPAP and back on regular nasal cannula. They also started feeds at 10cc's every 3 hrs. and he tolerates it well!
3/6 I didnt take any notes, Kevin was with him most of the time while I was trying to recover....
3/7 - (11:30am) Nurse Cindy
Gabe is put on CPAP, 30% O2
They were collecting his urine, he hasn't been voiding really well and has gotten a bit puffy. They were running labs and checking for kidney function and looking over his labs. Also tachypnic (breathing fast)
3/7 - (4pm) Nurse Linda
weight 5 lbs, 2 oz
Dr. ordered Lasix to help him pee and see if it would help with the puffiness and fluid retention.
Chest X ray was still showing some fuid althought it is a small concern. He is continuing on CPAP for the tachyphia.
3/7 - (8:30pm) Nurse Linda
Given the Lasix, Gabe peed alot, flooded his little specimin bag and the linens! Also, he had his 1st stool!
CPAP at 33%, He's been quiet and calm.
3/8 - (12:15am) Nurse Kara
weight: 5 lbs, 3 oz - CPAP 30%
his labs and electrolites are getting checked again, so far so good, The last 3 diapers were good n wet! He has good response from th dose of lasix.
3/8 (7:00am) Nurse Kara
weight 4 lbs, 14oz CPAP at room air
Labs were just taken and he is wetting diapers and had another good stool!
He is breathing ok with periods of tachypnia
3/8 - I went home late this afternoon from Hospital. My afternoon and evening calls were pretty much the same, no changes, all is doing fine!
3/9 - He's wetting diapers and going poop all good! He got TPN by IV today to help with some low calcium levels. Later on, they took him off CPAP and back on regular nasal cannula. They also started feeds at 10cc's every 3 hrs. and he tolerates it well!
3/10 - We increase his feeds! He gets 15cc's by NG tube and he tolerated it well! They upped it to 15cc's and then by the time we get there this evening, he is on 20 cc's ! They had him on the phototherapy lights, his levels were not of big concern, but they wanted to get it down a little, so they said it would only be a couple of days with that.
The big news is, WE GET TO HOLD HIM!!
I sat in the rocker by his isolette and held him and held his feed line, he is wide awake, looking around, his mouth open and tongue searching, what a good lil man!! He was rooting around! My little man was HUNGRY!!! YAY! We sat and looked at each other for a while, I was slobbering all over him with kisses and tears, Such a flood of emotion filled me, I was so happy, so filled with such love for this little tiny person, I cannot even describe to you how blessed and lucky I felt. I passed him to Daddy who also loaded him up with kisses and cuddles. They stared each other down, getting to know each other, it was beautiful. Grandma (Kev's Mom) Was there and got to hold him too. It was also Uncle Mike's first visit with Gabe, who decided he should grab Gabe and smuggle him out in his hoody! LOL - we took TONS of pictures and videos!!!
We left absolutely overjoyed and on cloud 9 !!
- At 4 am I called, they had increased his feeds to 25cc's and was tolerating it well. I don't there's going to be an issue come feeding time!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Gabryel Joseph Orion Is Here
Gabryel Joseph OrionBorn March 6th, 2007 @ 5:41 am via C-section.
At 5 lbs even and 17 & 1/2 inches long @ 33 weeks.
Our sweet Baby Boy came into the world, butt first and yelling at all of us. Born just absolutely perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes and one extra member to show off for Daddy ;)
On March 5th, all day I had been "off" had so much pain in my pubic bone, I was crying from hurting so bad, Kevin came home from work to check on us, he kept trying to convince me he would take the rest of the day off and we should go get checked out at L&D. I assured him I was ok, he got off at 6pm and things would be fine. I had cleaned the house a little, the window installers had been in and replaced the last of the windows in the master bedroom and kitchen. I was cleaning up and said I would lay down and try and rest to see if the pain would ease up.
A little after noon, I got Chaytie off the bus and Kevin went back to work. William came down and said he would watch the kids so I could lay down and take it easy. I took one of the pain pills the OB had given me for the pubic bone separation and laid down to try and nap. I was messaging back and forth with some friends, I was having contractions and we were timing them. They came about every 10 to 12 minutes. My friends said I should call the Dr's, I thought, well, they will probably fizzle out, I would nap first and see where we were. I got up around 3:30pm to make sure I got Talon off his bus. I was still having such bad pains in the pubic area. My contractions were different too. They were down low like menstrual cramps, I felt them more down low, not up high like BH, these also had a bit of pain & pinching through the cervix.
I called my Mom around 4 to tell her what was going on, ask her what she thought of it and get her advice. She said I should call the Dr. at least to ask about getting something for the pain I kept having. I called the OB office, spoke with the nurse. I explained everything to her, she asked if I was having contractions, I told her I was, but that I wasn't really paying attention to them and thought they were just the same ones as before, not doing much. She said she would check with the OB and call me back. She called back within the next 20 min's. and asked that I go to L&D to at least be checked out and see what they could do as far as the pain. I was crying on the phone, I had been pretty miserable all day. I told her that Kevin wouldn't be home until after 6pm, would that be ok? She said sure, it should be fine. So we hung up and I called Mom back to update her.
I talked to Mom, She was better assured knowing I was going in to L&D. I told her I wasn't going to tell Kevin anything right away so he wouldn't have to take off the rest of the day, after all, he had less than an hour and a half to go at this point. Kevin called right after, he must be psychic, lol. He asked how I was doing and said we should go in. I told him that I had already talked to the nurse and she said we could come in when he got off work, not to worry, I was ok for now and could wait. I didn't want him to freak out and come racing home, after all, I was only in pain because of my pubic bone and things were fine otherwise, right?
Kevin stopped at Wendy's on the way home, poor guy was hungry, he brought me food to eat before we headed out, I wasn't hungry, I ate some chicken nuggets after he kept insisting I eat something despite the fact I had no desire to eat at all. We left the house right before 7pm to go to Hershey.
By 8 pm I was checked in, gave a urine specimen, and was hooked up to the monitors. Baby looked great, I was still contracting away, apparently at 5 to 7 Min's apart! wow! why didn't I pay attention? I really thought I was just crampy from the pubic pain. The OB came in and checked me. I was at 2cm's and 25 to 50% effaced!! Oh? ok, so maybe something was going on down below!? She ordered indocin for pain and to stop the contractions, and steroid shots to mature baby's lungs, "just in case" and we'd wait and see. She tried to check position of the baby and thought baby was breech, so in came an U/S machine, there he was, butt down, breech. ooof! So she said if I were to progress any further, we'd have to deliver by c-section, I begged for them to turn him, They said they don't do it on preemies, far too dangerous, cord may prolapse, etc.
I lay for a while, The Head attending OB came to visit me and we discussed the plan. I was given the C-section consent forms to sign "just in case" and he explained he didn't want me to progress too far with baby butt down and he would deliver if the indocin wasn't working. He was also confident that we would stop the contractions and only spend a couple of days in L&D while I got steroid shots for the baby and let the contractions settle down. He left us, and we thought all would be well soon, after all, we were just going to let the contractions settle and all would be well. The indocin was a bit much (they give a double dose to start off with) and I fell asleep soon, Kevin pulled the recliner out into a bed and he slept next to me. I was still contracting but not paying attention and trying to just get some rest. A little while later, the OB came in and she said I would get a visit from the Anesthesiologist, to talk to me about the c-section and spinal, etc., again, "just in case". So she left again and the nurse took vitals as usual. My contractions had picked up to every 3 to 5 mins. They gave me another round of indocin.
The Anesthesiologist came in and we decided should I need the C-section, I would get the spinal because it lasts a couple of hours and was only one injection. So he left, we lay around a bit more. The Ob came in again and said she wanted to check me again and see if anything else was going on "under the hood" since I was still contracting. It was about 3:30am.
She checked me, I was at 3cm's and 50% effaced. She left to talk with the head resident again. Kevin woke up as soon as he heard 3 cm's. We just sat there a little surprised and wondering what was going to happen next. The Head resident came in, very nice as usual, and explained if I progressed any further, I had to go for the C-section to avoid having to end up with an emergency C-Section and letting things progress to far it would be guaranteed. He also had another OB come in and check me again. It had only been about 20 minutes since the last OB came and checked me.
She checked and I was at 4 cm's! Well, Kevin and I were shocked, really, It was almost unreal and things were happening so fast! The head Resident came back in, and I started to cry, I knew he was going to say it - "You are going to OR, now" I was crying, I had so many thought running through my mind, thoughts of another preemie and all we went through with Gracie, all she went through, all the time she spent in NICU getting better, I was scared to death. The Head res. assured me that at 33 weeks and getting the 1st round of steroids, all would be fine, told me the baby was going to be fine and not to worry (me? worry?) I cried for a bit yet, then they said we would be prepped and ready to go in about 15 minutes as he didn't want to wait much longer for me to progress more. I called my Mom, he called his parents. they prepped me and took me to the OR. Kevin stayed behind to get his scrubs on and prep for the C-section as well.
The OR was cold, I was scared, crying and shaking. The anesthesiologist came in and said, well, we spoke about everything, we will take good care of you, don't worry. I scooted to the OR bed and we started the spinal. That done, my legs became warm and I didn't feel as bad. They gave me morphine in the IV and meds to make sure I didn't puke. I lay there, what seemed like forever, waiting for Kevin to be called in. they sat him up by my head next to me, and they started the c-section. I was still crying and a bit emotional, and just kept listening for what was going on and etc. The Head Res. told me baby was coming out - butt first no less, and I could hear the baby let out a good cry! I picked up my head and was so relieved to hear that cry!!
Kevin and I looked at each other, they let Kevin peek over the drape and see the baby, he described him to me and they announced, It's a boy!
They moved Gabryel over to the exam table prepped for him, which was within my sight, they were evaluating him and cleaning him up. they let Kevin cut the cord and got him wrapped up and he got to hold our son. He brought baby to my face for first kisses and cuddles. I touched his lil face, rubbed his eyebrows and told him over and over and over how much I love him, Kevin started to cry as well... Our Son, our beautiful son. We've waited so long for this day!! We couldn't believe we were holding our son finally!
They took Gabryel off to NICU, he was grunting a little bit, I knew he had some fluid in his lungs by that. They finished me up and we went to recovery. The NICU staff said they would call us as soon as Gabe was settled and we got to our new room as well.
We got to our post partum room at around 8am. We called the parents back and waited for a call from NICU. We were still very much in shock!!
When NICU called, Kevin went down right away and took the camera with him so I could see more of our precious little boy. NICU said he would be staying a while as he needed the nasal cannula for the retained fluids in his lungs. All in all, Baby was doing great and he would be there maybe a couple of weeks, just to get stable on his breathing and to make sure he would feed and etc.
It was a very good day. Our Son was born and we are the proud new parents of our much anticipated, Much Loved, Gabryel Joseph Orion.
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